It’s clear to me that Fantasy Football is becoming a more socially acceptable version of that weirdo role-playing game from days gone. Don’t worry… I won’t put the “High Elf Wizards” on blast. But I will say this; Fantasy Football has taken on a far, more consuming, more ridiculous role in our natural lives than I believe is clinically healthy. Which, in turn, ads to more screen time + less human interaction + an absurdly large amount of time wasted. ABSURD. Hell, I’m writing about it. You’re reading about it. See! #Truth.
So… in the spirit of hammering my bloated, arrogant observations (realizations) down your slippery throats, here’s a TOP 10 REASONS WHY FANTASY SPORTS (you) ARE ABSURD.
Pre-season mock draft. Really?
You draw sick offensive plays on bar napkins. And then you sign them.
Apparently, bad sportsmanship is washed clean with a new Team name.
Your highest, most respected form of flattery is the soothing sound of somebody referring to you as your Team name.
You hate him. You love him. You hate him. You love him. You’ve never met him.
You have accepted the distinguished title of “Oracle of Offense”. Own it.
You get this: “Corn Cobb Pipe and a Sutton Nose and Two Eyes Made Out of Cole”.
And this: “Le'Veon on a Prayer”. Okay, that’s actually awesome.
You hide critical data from your friends. Not cool bro.
You’ll accept a loss from your real-life team as long as you get points.
BA!!$ D33P ~ The Valley Club :)
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect those of ANY other individuals. Yeah, right. You’re all thinking the same B.S.