TOP 10. (even though I have like 50 more).

It’s clear to me that Fantasy Football is becoming a more socially acceptable version of that weirdo role-playing game from days gone. Don’t worry… I won’t put the “High Elf Wizards” on blast. But I will say this; Fantasy Football has taken on a far, more consuming, more ridiculous role in our natural lives than I believe is clinically healthy. Which, in turn, ads to more screen time + less human interaction + an absurdly large amount of time wasted. ABSURD. Hell, I’m writing about it. You’re reading about it. See! #Truth.


So… in the spirit of hammering my bloated, arrogant observations (realizations) down your slippery throats, here’s a TOP 10 REASONS WHY FANTASY SPORTS (you) ARE ABSURD.


  1. Pre-season mock draft. Really?

  2. You draw sick offensive plays on bar napkins. And then you sign them.

  3. Apparently, bad sportsmanship is washed clean with a new Team name.

  4. Your highest, most respected form of flattery is the soothing sound of somebody referring to you as your Team name.

  5. You hate him. You love him. You hate him. You love him. You’ve never met him.

  6. You have accepted the distinguished title of “Oracle of Offense”. Own it.

  7. You get this: “Corn Cobb Pipe and a Sutton Nose and Two Eyes Made Out of Cole”.

  8. And this: “Le'Veon on a Prayer”. Okay, that’s actually awesome.

  9. You hide critical data from your friends. Not cool bro.

  10. You’ll accept a loss from your real-life team as long as you get points.


Sincerely,

BA!!$ D33P ~ The Valley Club :)


Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect those of ANY other individuals. Yeah, right. You’re all thinking the same B.S.

2020 TLS Holdings, Inc. | The Winning Seat ® | Patented | All Rights Reserved 

NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN. A PURCHASE WILL NOT IMPROVE YOUR CHANCES OF WINNING. Open only to legal residents of the 50 United States and the District of Columbia, (if the total ARV of all prizes for a Promotion is over $5,000 the Promotion shall exclude New York and Florida, if the total ARV of all prizes for a Promotion is $5,000 or less, the Promotion shall include New York and Florida). Must be 18 and older. Void elsewhere and where prohibited. All Promotions are subject to complete Official Rules.